Last Minute prep.. or is it all a bit late now!!!!!!

So this is it! excuse my language but 'SH*T!!!!' I'm not sure I ever thought it would arrive. Suddenly the butterflies in my tummy have turned into frigging great pigeons flapping about like nobodys business inside me.

My last minute pre probably should have been looked at previously - buying new headphones the week before was possibly not my best ever idea. But they are super bass sound enhancing, have hooky things round the back of the ears ones; so in buying them it does mean I don't need to find a headband to wear over my ears to keep my old headphones in place for the 26.2 mile course. I do now need to find a cap that matches my outfit though! As my mother pointed out over dinner tonight - Lamb Shank and Sticky toffee pudding; Thanks Dad!! Probably not a real runners pre-marathon diet but works for me! - if its like this weekend next weekend I'll have sun stroke by mile 12 running without anything on my head! So this week need to find a Black/ White or Turquoise cap! Ideas Anyone!!???

Nail varnish colour has been decided on - and I'm sorry to say that at the moment it looks like it will be clear! A friend of mine who is a nurse says they like you to not wear nail varnish as they check the colour of your nails in surgery apparantly to check you're still alive. She obviously also has a little feeling I may be in an ambulance at some point this Sunday. So like having an umbrella stops rain I feel not wearing nail varnish will stop a health crisis on the day. Sadly due to the new headphones the earring choice has also been taken out of my hands. Prior to their purchase I was going for the crystal drops; but they bash against the new headphones and click so can't wear them as this will drive me insane after 2 miles let alone 26.2!!!!

This week I plan to concentrate on eating well; trying to eat less processed food. Limited chocolate and sweets. Jelly Babies are obviously allowed. And as sods law would have it I have finally begun to loose weight! 4lbs off this week; helped by my feeling sick pretty much most of the time!!! Don't worry I will not let this sway me into becoming a fan of running!! The draw of a big old glass of chilled champagne awaiting me is far too great for me to become a real runner; or even a novice runner!!! Rest assured we are 6 days and counting away from normality coming home to roost; watch out Speedy you may come home to your wife drinking vodka martini's in the bath at 6pm....

And the final weeks stats are:
Running: 12 miles; 4 little runs; escorted by the lovely Leah round the bypass. Thank you once again for being a brilliant running person and helping me carry on the whole way through this hellish time some people like to call a training plan!!!
Weight: As I said 4lb down! a cruel twist of fate! Frigging sods law!!!!
Alcohol: Still not a drop; not even mouth wash!!! 6 days and counting......

Now onto the sponsorship... My original target I wanted to raise by doing the 26.2 mile long London Marathon was £4000. So far I have rasied £3614.65p!! Something to be proud of I know but! Not quite the full nine yards and I don't like to fall short! Which is actually why I don't normally do sport! I hate loosing and as I'm so bad at all sports this can be a tricky pill to swallow!! So heres the big ask... IF YOU HAVEN'T SPONSORED ME YET.... PLEASE DO IT NOW!!!!!!!!!! I'LL LOVE YOU FOREVER!!!!
So here is the link:

http://www.justgiving.com/Emma-Burbidge

Any amount you can give will be super greatfully received - firstly by me for helping me reach my targets & secondly by the charities I'm raising money for who I'm absolutly certain will do fabulous things with the money you have kindly donated!!! So click away people, credit cards at the ready, ready set go...........

So this week, I'll mostly be running a Marathon..............

Running Goddess coming through.......

So two weeks and counting until race day. I have finally got my running outfit; it was delivered at last and touch wood & fingers crossed so far so good.

The new super shock sports bra isn't so super and I do need to wear another sports bra with it to make sure the puppies aren't bouncing round like nobodys business as I run. And sadly the dry fit leggins and t-shirt aren't as I imagined. I had thought they may be more like Spanx; holding me in in all the right places - slimming down my bingo wings and baggy tummy. But no not a chance; its like wearing tissue paper you can see every inch of cellulite through them. Also as they don't really hold anything in my fat is free to wobble and wave to the crowds as I plod along. The running vest is the right blue though and it does match the blue highlight in my trainers; and the dinky i-pod Speedy gave my for my Birthday so at least my accessories are working to pull the outfit together.


With little - actually if I'm honest no running last week - I really need to maintain my fitness levels this week with a 3-5 mile run each night. So I kicked of the week with a little 3 mile skip round the bypass with the lovely Leah; maybe we'll do five tomorrow. I'm pleased to say we were running everytime we passed another runner. My runners terets seems to have subsided as the Marathon ebs ever nearer - possibly the nerves having a calming effect on me - and surprisingly I didn't feel the need to swear at any of the runners this evening; we even got a wave from one of them!!!! I am however considering a victory lap of the bypass with my medal - if fingers crossed I finish - swearing at every runner. Could this possibly be classed as anti-social behaviour? obviously I wouldn't want to be arrested; that's not particularly glamourous. However a lap of honour actually running in heels could be fun; provocation with out four letter words has a far more ladylike feel to it.

So outift sorted finally; after party wear also arranged, accessories now need to be considered. I can't decide if I should wear my drop crystal ear-rings or diamond studs? I think I'll have to wear my hair up as it won't hold its volume post about mile 12 down - even with strong hold product - so the drop crystals will set off a ponytail more; however they do bash a little bit when you run. A classic manicure is planned; pale pink for the colour. I've never been a big fan of rainbow nails and don't want to be too matchy on the day so blue is out, as is black and white. I could do silver? But this may look a little too experimental teenager - oh so many decisions to be made before the day!!!

To this weeks results:
Running; Weight & Alcohol: All of the above a big fat 0! Worrying? Yes a little bit I am now dreaming about wine! oh and the lack of running is worrying too but this is the first and last and only week I haven't run the planned miles and am assured by the real runner at work this will not effect my performance on the day.

Finally to this weeks plans:
* Running - 5 runs of 3 to 5 miles each; in my running outfit to check it doesn't rub or chafe and most importantly I look the thinnest I can whilst running 26.2miles. maybe try out a few nail varnish colours?
* Get name printed on running vest - I have decided to go with a straight forward Emma; I've never been a fan of strangers being overfamiliar and using nicknames your frends and family use!
* Find a good waterproof mascara and practice running in it to make sure it doesn't run; eyelash extensions were far to expensive and they couldn't guarentte the sweat wouldn't have an effect on the glue!!
* Consider foundations? to wear or not to wear!

Gosh so much to do so little time all whilst holding down a full time job; cleaning the house; ironing the clothes; babysitting for a friend; and attending the wedding of the Year - just call me the Running Goddess!!!!!!!!!

The Big One...

So where to start; sorry for the lack of blogging over the last two weeks. A lot has happened so this weeks blog will indeed be the Big One!!

Firstly I celebrated turning the ripe old age of 26 at the end of March; without any wine! I must admit I amazed even myself managing this great feat, as staying on the wagon has been one of the more tricky aspects of training for a marathon!! But no - no wine, or vodka, or alcohol of any sort, just a lot of lemonade and other varieties of soft drinks! I did have the most lovely birthday filled with gifts for running and treats from those who know how much I hate running. A big thank you to all those who made my birthday so scrumptious; looking forward to celebrating a little more raucously next year though!

Then following my birthday my grandparents celebrated 50 years of marriage together!! AMAZING; the whole family was so very proud of them; so although no drinking went on much eating ensued and not much running happened. The 18 mile run I had planned for the Sunday following the party turned into 8 miles due to poor preparation both mentally and physically on my part. I hate running so much and even more so when its sunny and other people are out enjoying the sunshine! So I only did 8 miles and then went off shopping with speedy for garden things! This year - post marathon - is the year of the garden for me; both finishing it and then drinking wine in the evenings after work in it!

Anyone get the feeling I'm having a cold turkey moment; apologies for the obscene number of times I mention alcohol and drinking again, I am not an alcoholic I promise!!

However although I failed to complete the 18 mile run required on the plan; and won't go into the lack of little and medium runs that have been happening I have managed to do 20 & 22 miles in the last week!!!!

So here are the stats for the past few weeks:
Alcohol: None!!! its been hell and continues to be so. I dream of Ice cold wine on a summers evening; Vodka on the rocks with a slug of Martini; the feeling of the little bubbles tickling down your neck as you sip champagne - again not that I have a problem...
Weight: not a bean of difference; hopefully post running when I can reroute my willpower to stop me putting so much in my mouth I will loose weight. Exercise is not the answer; I repeat RUNNING LOTS IS NOT THE WAY TO LOOSE WEIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Running: Lots and lots; well lots of big runs, one 20.76 mile walk that took 5hrs 57mins completed with my lovely Mummy and Moss. Poor Moss was not impressed by mile 14 and kept trying to find the car! he spent the whole of the next day sleeping; but Jane Moss who is 50 was fine! I am very lucky to have such a lovely parent who is that supportive they are prepared to walk all that way in the wind, rain and mud! Yes mud we were covered in it; which is why I walked and didn't run. The route we had planned was so muddy it was simply impossible to run without breaking your ankle or worse falling in the canal! Then finally to finish off the week I ran 22 miles; the first 20 of which was finished in 3hrs 57mins 22secs! I then had to walk the last 2 miles as got my first blisters in training. So as I write this I am tending to blisters hoping they go down before I begin my maintenance runs for the next three weeks as we count down to race day.

I also held my final fund-raising event pre-marathon. We held an Easter Book and Bake sale in Rowde village hall last Saturday and raised a further £480 for the Cancer Research UK & WHSmith Trust. A big thank you to all of those lovely people who helped on the day; donated books for sale; made cakes for sale & those who braved the rain and came along, bought books and ate cake! I really couldn't have done it without you!

So 20 days and counting till race day; I have finally ordered my race outfit!! As you know I have had the after party outfit sorted for quite some time; and was reticent to spend so much money on running clothes I will never need again post the 25th of April. However this is one area where you cannot scrimp as you'll only end up with red raw skin and blisters. So £102 later I have a running outfit; black and turquoise as planned, with highlights of sliver and white. Hopefully it will be delivered early this week so I can get a good few runs in in it before the race just to check it doesn't rub etc.
The only things left to do now pre race are:
- Get my name printed on the running vest I have bought.
- Raise as much money as possible – please go to the links at the top of the blog page to sponsor me! Every penny counts and whatever you can afford to give will be greatly appreciated!
- Run in the running outfit
- Break in the heels for the after party outfit
- Sew pockets into the running vest to hold sweets and pain killers on race day!

I think that's it; so a busy few weeks are in store for me....

Over The Limit...

..don't worry I haven't been caught drink driving; nor have I been drink driving but not been caught!

I’m referring to the limits I set myself mentally years ago as to what I would be able to achieve and how easy it is to go over and above these limits with the right mental attitude!

I'm not entirely sure why I'm surprised that I have managed to push myself over my limits either. I have after all been going over the limit my whole life! For example
1. I will never spend more than £250 on shoes - I spent over that on several of the pairs of shoes purchased for my wedding day!
2. Our limit is xxx for a two bedroom house - I fell in love with one over budget and we spent over the budget on it
3. I will not eat more than one bag of sweets this week - Tesco had a 3 for £1 offer on it wasn't economically sound to only buy one bag; and I couldn't not eat them all!
And that’s not even going down the road of talking about credit card limits!!!!

My willpower has always been terrible; and therefore it has always been easy for the devil on my shoulder to override it pushing me over the limits I'd set for myself. The same seems to be happening now with all the running. 20 weeks ago when I embarked on this journey of self discovery - discovering running does nothing to help me loose weight; I hate running; I will never run again; my hair does not benefit from being washed everyday; high heels make my legs look thinner & 80's pop is the best music to run to - I never in my wildest dreams thought I could do it. I had blocked this stage of the running plan out of my mind - skipping straight to week 24 when the runs dropped back down to 4,5 & 8 miles and that lovely week 25 when it simply says run 3 miles, run 3 miles, walk 2 miles, Race Day! The sneaky buggers who put the plan together have very slyly made that week seem a pleasure with no mention of the 26.2 miles you'll be running at the end of it!!

A few moths ago a 9.2mile run was my turning point – see ‘When the S*it Hits The Wall’ Blog from Feb 2010 – I was so amazingly proud of myself; never thinking I’d get that far it kick started my training back on track and turned it into what it has now become! I’m now running close to this mileage mid-week in line with the plan and way over it on my long runs. Suddenly 26.2 miles doesn’t seem so unachievable.

It hasn’t however got any easier! This week I managed the plan but only by the skin of my teeth and over 1/2 of it done indoors! Feeling unwell from Friday onwards I just didn’t think running in the cold and wet was clever; in not completing the runs I would have done irreparable damage to my schedule and with 6 weeks to go I don’t have time to hit another wall.

So the week’s numbers look like this:
Running:
35.2 miles. 24.4 Inside & 10.8 outside. With the big run – 16.2 miles – being done inside in 2hrs 50mins! Good time but a shame it was inside; although at this point it was only ever going to be inside or not at all!
Alcohol: However many units is in 1 glass of white wine I drank this week! I know I’m meant to be on the wagon but I’d already poured and had a few sips of said glass before I remembered this and at that point I though I may as well finish it and then climb back aboard the wagon!
Weight: Now this is still an area where I am failing miserably – and not a limit I can overcome it seems!! I have actually come to the conclusion running is very bad for weight loss and it is indeed not my fault I’m still fat as all the running is preventing me from getting thinner!! In fact
I now believe that all those people who say they have lost weight through running are lying! They are obviously secretly not eating or being sick after meals!!

So this week my main aim is to stay on the wagon properly with no little slip ups! And run what it says on the plan which is 35 miles! Fingers crossed all outside…

Bitter and Twisted Runner coming through...

Firstly: CONGRATULATIONS to all those clever people who ran the bath 1/2 Marathon on Sunday. I'm very proud of my lovely friends who all raised money for worthy causes whilst running round Bath on a Sunny Sunday morning. I know its horrid running that far and I know you all run faster and harder than I do so have the utmost respect for you. My week however wasn't so buoyant – bitter would be a better way to describe my frame of mind! Recently I am becoming increasingly bitter about the effects all this running is having on my body and indeed my life. The social life (or lack of) issue is one I am gradually getting used to as the marathon ebbs ever nearer and the point at which I get my life back comes with it! However the limp and lifeless hair I am not getting used to, and this is going to take some repairing post Marathon to get it back to its original glossy cute bob that it was not so long ago. A girl with a strict beauty regime I have always washed my hair every other day; I'm not sure when or who told me this was the best thing to do but it had always worked from me, not stripping my chocolate locks of their essential oils on a daily basis had helped me to culture a head full of thick glossy hair. Washing it everyday - sometimes twice - has made it dull and flat. In fact I wouldn't blame it for falling out the abuse it’s getting at the moment. Then I come to my skin - Salt is not good for it! Not my complexion anyway; the daily dose of salty sweat and rubbing - me wiping by brow on every third step - has given me a combination complexion nightmares are made of! Dry and oily and spotty all at once! There are no creams to remedy this - one counteracts another and you end up in the reverse sorry mess having spent a small fortune on lotions and potions to solve the problems! This is not even mentioning the fact I go bright red when running and am trying to find a product I can apply to my face to cover this on race day so I don't look entirely dreadful in the official photographs! Mere foundations won't cut it in this situation and that’s melted off my face 0.4miles into a run!! And don't even get me started on the fact that even waterproof mascara doesn’t seem to be sweat proof!! I'm considering eyelash extensions for the race as these can create the look of mascara with out the need for any; meaning I'll hopefully avoid the panda eyes look whilst participating in the race! The only problem being this costs more than the running outfit I am yet to purchase!

And then I come on to other runners.... In the beginning I wanted to stop and chat to all the other runners and congratulate them on there efforts running round the bypass. In my mind they must also be training for the marathon - what other possible reason would they have for running laps of bypass on a January evening when it’s so cold it hurts your lungs to breath! But no it seems these people do it for fun; and its catching!! As the days have got longer and the weather less Antarctic in its feel more of the cheery freaks can be passed when running loops of said bypass.

Now I have always had a small issue running with others around me; the site of the running club fills me with dread and other runners I feel look on with a critical eye that just makes me want to crawl home and watch reruns of "Friends" instead of training. However a few weeks ago I began to feel I belonged! Other runners had taken to waving at me when we passed, a cheery wave and hello was a nice change for me; and although not the full on ‘so you're running the marathon too’ chats I’d imagined, it was still a bit of contact and like being shown a clubs secret handshake - I really felt I had crossed a bridge on the running front and been accepted into their clique!

Fool!! Of course I wasn’t one of them – for a start I don’t even have the right kit – they all wear proper running things and they all wear the same thing like a uniform it seems there is no room for personal style in these running cliques. And more importantly I don’t always run! This means that I don’t always get a wave! There appears to be a running etiquette attached to the acknowledgement of other people when running:
If other person running = hand up say ‘hi’
If other person walking = Scowl and shame them out of waving at you!!
One chap who had waved on my previous lap when I was running actually did a proper scowl when I went to wave at him!! He may as well have wagged his finger at me like a headmaster would a naughty child. Mortified I began to run again and prayed I didn’t see him on the next lap.

Then you have the running clubs – who think they are gods’ gift to the frigging bypass!! – And if you hadn’t already noticed here is where my bitterness really sets in. The bad hair; crappy skin; red face; puffy panda eyes and public shunning by other runners wasn’t enough to push you over the edge. The running club heading towards you making no effort what so ever to move over so you can pass each other using the pavement was! No the egotistical F*ck Whit’s just ran straight at me forcing me on to the pot hole filled, dog poo covered grass verge!! Oh I was savage; it took all my will power – which, if you’ve been following for a while you’ll know I don’t have a lot of - not to turn about face and yell expletives at them as they ran off down the bypass.

My bitterness has now turned into runners turrets; adding swollen lips to my list of running aliments as I bite my lip to stop myself swearing at other runners that pass me by!

So, rant over here is the week’s results:
Running: 30.4miles – with one whopper of a 15mile run completed on Thursday night! Apart from the turrets at other runners this weeks running was actually bearable in terms of the physical completion of the miles – the repercussions mentioned above not so great.
Weight: with all the other problems mentioned in this week’s blog I felt it best not to tip myself over the edge by asking the weight question – so weight undisclosed!
Alcohol: A few units; so not as firmly strapped to the wagon as I was hoping. But not a full on falling off the wagon as I only had once glass of wine and a vodka and lemonade; more sort of half off half on! But this week fully on strapped down fast to the wagon I promise!

So this week another big run is required – 16 miles – I won’t be drinking alcohol and I will be investigating where I can get eyelash extensions done for the marathon; oh and maybe looking into purchasing the outfit for the race…..

Is it all down hill from here????

This week I learn't a valuable lesson - don't drink and run!!!

My abstinence from Alcohol this week was executed as badly as my diet; spending saturday night having a fabulous time with my lovley friends - drinking a lot of Vodka - and finishing it off with a McDonalds to deal with the hangover on Sunday morning. Neither of these acts of rebellion did anything to help me complete the 14 mile run required of me this week!

I finally managed 14 miles but in two gruelling sections; 3.8 miles outside that could only be described as crawling round the bypass then a quick decamp over to Rowde to finish the run on the Treadmill at my Mothers house - not the crawling that was happening on the bypass; but still absolutely horrendous. Every step was agony - possibly due to spending the night before dancing away in six inch heels - and you could have got drunk from drinking my sweat; although with an undertone of fags and satuarted fat my sweat needs a health warning!! This is possibly not the best way to prepare for a 14 mile run:

The weeks running in general hasn't been entirely dreadful I did manage 2 x 3 mile runs and a 7 mile stint mid week; then it all went down hill as we hit the weekend. I had known I may fall off the wagon; I do however now intend to stay strapped fast to the wagon until I have completed the marathon! End of excuses, no being pushed off said wagon by my lovely friends. At all times note to self 'STAY ON THE WAGON' oh and another note 'STOP EATING CRAP!
The problem is I'm easiley lead; always have been. In shops I'm a sucker for good visual merchandising - can be lead into taking three or four items I don't need into the changing room and then two items I don't need to the till. A few drinks with friends can easily turn into a litre of vodka and 5 hours of dancing to eighties cheese! Lets hope I'm easily lead on race day by all the other runners to the finish line; but something tells me it won't be that easy!!
So I'm at the half way point; I've done 14 miles and its down hill from here so to speak. Well that's probably uphill seeing as the runs only get longer from here on. 16 miles this weekend and I'm considering getting that in before the weekend so I don't end up squeezing it in late afternoon early evening on Sunday!!
So the stats this week are not that impressive but I'll let you know them as it will hopefully make next weeks results seem positively glowing!!!
Running: 27 miles in total over 4 runs; all hard; all horrid. Although I will say Moss Puppy has got better at running at my pace. He does still sneak it up a notch or two when you stop concentrating. A shame the 14 miles had to be spilt but still 14 miles in one day, so time and miles on my poor feet completed all the same!
Weight: Still fat!! But after eating MacDonalds for breakfast I can't really complain; I did also eat chocoalte for tea the night before and stopped at Mr Cod's on the way home in the wee hours of Sunday morning, so as I said I can't expect miracles. Until they invent a willpower pill I think I'm doomed to fail. If all this excercise dosen't do it what will!!
Alcohol: Another reason the weight loss is not my strongest point. I don't want to know how many units are in a bottle of Vodka let alone how many calories - although it is one of the lowest calorie drinks you can drink. Still as I said earlier - back on the wagon firmly strapped in!!
So this week I'll be doing more running as will some of my good friends who are bravely running the bath half marathon - too hilly for me! - So good luck to Gillian; Lydia; Michelle. I know you will all be wonderful and I'm looking forward to cheEring you over the finish line.

'Show me the money........'

So I have now been writing about my training and making you all laugh (hopefully!) for 14 weeks and this has all been for one reason: TO RAISE LOTS OF MONEY FOR CHARITY.

There has to be a good reason for embarrassing myself publicly week after week and it is indeed to make the world a bit of a better place by raising money for charities I feel do valuable work within our communities.

So this week I will blog mid week on my progress but for the moment the blog is a begging letter to you all!!

If you have read the blog; had a giggle or even if it just made you smile one rainy Tuesday morning please dig deep and donate to one of the charities I will be running the London marathon in aid of.

Cancer research UK: To sponsor me in aid of Cancer Reserch UK please click on the following link to my just giving page and make a donation: http://www.justgiving.com/Emma-Burbidge

WHSmith Trust: To sponsor me in aid of the WHSmith Trust please click on the following link to my just giving page and make a donation: http://www.justgiving.com/Emma-Burbidge0

For now I'll leave you guessing if I did the milage - if I've lost weight and how much alcohol I drank in the last week. Come on people 'SHOW ME THE MONEY.......' that should really read 'SHOW THE CHARITIES YOUR MONEY....' and in return I'll show you my weeks progress!!

What I think about when I think about talking about running...

Unlike Haruki Murakami my musings whilst plodding round the bypass tend to be quite trivial; in no way intellectual and I have no plans to run again post this marathon - ever! I am beginning to resent the running; not only is it an awful amount of effort for no gain as far as I can see at the moment; it is also having a hugely detrimental effect on my social life and in turn my state of mind!

A regular on the social circuit before I unwittingly signed up to run a marathon I am having serious withdrawal symptoms! Normally I would see at least two friends during the week for coffee; dinner or a cinema visit. Aside from the fact I am not drinking coffee at the moment; the only time I am seeing friends is if they are mad enough to run with me in the evenings - Thank you Leah for patiently plodding round the bypass at my pace and keeping me going! (& Jude for offering to run with me, I will get back to you with dates I promise!!!) If I finish the marathon it will be largely due to your support and pushing.

But the most worrying result of my lack of social butterflyness at the moment is I am getting a bit board of Speedy's company! Love him as I do we never spend this much time together and I'm beginning to notice things about him that annoy me incessantly. I spend a lot of my time running thinking about these annoyances and ways I can annoy him back. For example he tends to just wash his clothes! Not normally something that bothers me; as I am aware of the fact I am blessed to have married a man that washes at all. It still annoys me a lot he does his washing first; but cleverly puts in two pairs of my knickers so he can't be accused of not doing my washing! Sneaky – and he wonders why I sometimes think he’s gay! Now not that this matters in the grand scheme of things; as if I'm honest I have enough in my wardrobe to wear something different every day for a month and not have to do washing! Its just all my favourite things are languishing in the bottom of the wash basket whilst I make do with what the wardrobe has to offer. And this also means I’m down to my uncomfy pants and uncomfy bras; which are causing problems whilst running. On Wednesday I was so uncomfortable on my speed walk/jog with the lovely Jo I nearly took them off! But we were walking past the police Head Quarters and being the contentious citizen I am, bearing all in front of this building wouldn’t be appropriate. Well as my mother would say ‘At least he doesn’t beat you up!’ which he doesn’t so one can’t moan about a bit of dirty washing! And he did give me the loveliest Amy Wooster Gold charm necklace for Valentines Day so some brownie points were picked up here.

I am also longing to update my facebook status with something other than a run distance and time - if I didn't put this I’d be leaving it blank and as the running is ruining my social life this is my only real link to the fun all my friends are having I must remain on the facebook radar to ensure I don’t disappear completely!!

The benefit to all this running and no fun is my bank balance is not nearly as scary as it normally is this close to pay day; and with the lack of washing on Speedy’s part I am discovering things I’d forgotten about in the back of the wardrobe so no need to go shopping – much – a silver lining you might say. And seeing as the silver lining of weight loss is yet to materialise I’ll go with improved financial status as my SL for the moment!

So this week’s results are as follows:
Running: in total 27.3miles with one long 11.3 mile run on Sunday. The big run was painful this week; I hated every second, it was hard and hurt with every step. The McDonalds an hour before setting out probably didn’t help; and I’m sure the bag of ‘Percy Pigs’, box of Jelly Beans and half bag of Mint Crumbles weren’t that useful either!!! All in all, a good running week by my standards.
Weight: non-descript – according to friends my shape is changing. But this is not something me or my clothes are noticing yet; Again I’m sure the food listed above is helping my weight loss no end!
Alcohol: None! Woo! Back on the wagon! Set to fall off again this weekend and next! Another thing that isn’t going to help the weight loss; I may give up on the weight loss? I am married after all!

This week I am going to try my hardest not to eat crap! (Excluding Tuesday as its pancake day!!) Oh and running of course……

Hit the Shops Running

So with 10 weeks to go (or 62 days; I'm sticking with 10 weeks it sounds less scary and further away) this week my thoughts have turned back to shopping and the very important matter of what to wear on Race day. This was mostly inspired by the e-mail from the marathon people saying its best to have your name on the back of your top. If you want them to do this for you, the deadline is looming of when they must have received your chosen running attire by, so that they can print and return it to you in time for the race.

With my After Party outfit picked and purchase some months ago now; an outfit for the actual race needs to be decided upon and purchased quickly! Now I do have the most beautiful Stella McCartney for Adidas running top bought for me by my lovely Glamazon friends this Christmas; however I'm not sure I wish to bastardise this beautiful thing with my name across the back! As much as I don't plan to ever run again post Marathon day; I may go to the gym from time to time and this top is a very suitable 'fashionista' top for going to excersise classes with Yummy mummys and the likes at my local gym.

So after much consideration and internet browsing - god knows where you go on the high street to find this running stuff - I have decided what I want to wear. I now just need to fund the purchase as this is clothing I will never use again and I don't want to spend a lot - not that that has ever stopped me spending large amounts in the past - but this is running attire not a black wet look sequin jacket!
So the planned outfit is: 3/4 length black leggins; A half sleeve black fitted T-shirt & finally a Turquoise sleeveless vest top to be worn over thr T-shirt with my name printed on it in silver. I now just need to find this little outfit; and at a bargain price; currently it is coming in at a tear inducing £106!! For Running clothes! I think I should resort back to the original kit of Top Shop Leggins and Wham t-shirt - cheap and original in my mind!

Along with the actual clothing I need to consider how I will carry water with me during training and need to solve this issue pretty quickly! on this weeks mega run I nearly stopped a child passing on a bike to ask for water as I have stupidly embarked on a 11.3 mile run without any type of running fuel or water! Thirtsy wasn't the word for it and after 11.3 miles I burst through the front door like a super hero making a b-line for the tap, head underneath it lapping away like our dog does when we turn the hose pipe on! In fact if the hose pipe had been nearer than the kitchen tap I'd have been lapping at that so parched was I after 11.3 miles.
Those of you that are regulars on this blog will know I struggle to run whilst holding something in my hand; so carrying a water bottle is out. Beth, Sarah & Amy cover your ears and eyes now! as I think for this purpose only I may have to purchase a running belt or a running rucksack! The sin of all fashion sins I know but hopefully the fact I'm going to get one to match the planned running outfit may soften the blow! Fingers crossed dear friends you can overlook this sin and forget about it post marathon; as of the 25th of April I promise you'll never see such items attached to me again!!

So the scores on the doors this week are as follows:
Running: Now you may have noticed I ran 11.3 miles on Saturday this week! it was an accident! The running plan asked me to do 10 miles; I did bad maths and thought I'd done 10.4 miles by running round the bypass three times. In the cold light of Monday morning whilst contemplating the cripling pain in my calves and how the pain was caused I realised I had actually run 11.3 miles. Now when I say run I obviously don't mean I ran like a real runner. I am still doing my Run/Walk style of running. However I must be running about 70-80% of the distance covered now & even towards the end of the runs manage to make myself run again so its not all bad. I think I am destined to be a Run/Walker instead of a proper runner! This weeks total is a personal best of 25.3 miles! Made up of 3 x 3 miles runs (2 outside & 1 inside) 1 x 5 mile run inside and 1 x 11.3 mile run outside + Dog walking of unknown milage = lots of miles on my feet this week!
Alcohol: so hopefully the 11.3 mile achievement will make up for the fact that 5 weeks of dryness on the alcohol front was broken with a bang this Saturday evening! I did indeed fall off the wagon; but fear not I managed to clamber back on before I was too far down the road to get back on, and still managed to run 5 miles on Sunday. This week I am firmly belted to the wagon I promise! and no one can really be cross as I did warn you I'd be pushed off! I just thought it was beTter to jump before being pushed!
Weight: surprisingly even with the impressive milage total - my bindge eating to make up for the lack of alcohol(I had malteasers for breakfast on Wednesday last week) and the reappearance of alcohol in my life on Saturday has resulted in a big fat 0 on the weightloss front!

So plans for this week: run at least what the running plan asks for (by run I mean run/walk/ complete by moving legs) and Shopping!!!!!!!!!!! Well find and buy running outfit this is not classed as shopping in my world its not fun!

When the Sh*t hits the Wall..

So this week has literally been a Sh*ty week; I don't like to use this word too often as it isn't lady like and I don't wish to give the wrong impression to those of you who don't know me well. But this week there is simply no other word for it; well ‘pooey’ I suppose - but now I sound like a three year old!

The week began badly with no running on Monday or Tuesday and the blog being two days late finally getting posted on Wednesday. So Wednesday was my come back run! And it was not a glorious come back to the running scene! About a mile and a half in I really needed the toilet; so badly it was giving me pains in my stomach. I had planned to run 4 miles and doing my business on the bypass was not an option so this run was cut short. Someone did suggest I should have 'gone' on the bypass just in case it happened on the day 'Good practice in case it happens during the marathon' 'no' I said 'not good practice! I am not going to practice going on the bypass just in case is happens on race day! Firstly I'm pretty sure its illegal!' as there is no way I would be pointing my bottom in the direction of the hedge row; my previous experiences with nature would dissuade me form that and I think pointing a white bottom in the direction of the traffic half way round the bypass in Calne may be considered indecent exposure!! So first run a bit of a disaster; no arrests though so there’s a silver lining to the tale!

So on Thursday the second come back was attempted; this time I thought I'd take the dog with me! he was home alone and I took pity on him. Thinking the stop for him to have a run around in the field halfway would be a welcome rest for me! Well unlike me the dog didn't have a problem going to the toilet 1 mile into our run on the bypass!! So like a good citizen I picked up his offering in a poo bag and looked for a bin. No Bin anywhere to be seen! And I didn't think it would be acceptable to put it in someones wheelie bin - imagine being caught 'what are you doing?' 'umm putting dog poo in your bin!?!' really this is only something you would do to your worst enemies and even then they would have had to have been really quite horrid for me to stoop to this level of childish behaviour. So with no other option I carried it for 1.8 miles around the bypass until I came to a bin! Running with a dog lead in one hand is tricky; running with a dog lead in one hand and a dog poo in a Sainsbury’s bag in the other hand is unbearable. Once the poo had been binned I was done. Moss had a quick run in the field and we went home for me to scrub my hand - a lot! So another unsuccessful run cut short.

Now they say things happen in threes; and this week I have found this to be the case. Third time lucky on the comeback run! No Third time unlucky; the third bad run in a row!! 2 miles into this come back run I had to abandon the plan due to a pulled ligament in my ankle and sKulked off to Sue’s house to wait for Darren to come and drive me home!

So we're three runs into the week and my comeback is about as successful as Britney Spears's comeback performance on the X-Factor!! A day off running was required if only to rest and recuperate the poorly foot. And fear not this is where the misery ends.

Sunday came; a leisurely 3 mile walk with Speedy and the dog warmed up the muscles; and with no hurty foot from the walking I thought I'd try a run. So at 5.37 on Sunday evening I embarked on a 6 mile run. The plan asked for 8 miles but after the week I'd had I thought attempting 6 might be a safer bet to avoid disappointment.

So I kicked off with a half circuit of the bypass - 1.8miles - then feeling good and doing more running than I had in weeks went for a full circuit of the bypass - 3.7 miles - having done that and still feeling O.K I thought I'd go for another half - but the longer half - 2 miles - and at the point I could turn home I still felt O.K to carry on so finished the bypass for a second time!! - 9.2 miles in total in 1 Hour 50 Minutes!!!!! BACK IN THE GAME; 'Wall' 'What Wall' 'I laugh in the face of walls' no longer am I the Jade Goody of Marathon training - Welcome back Paula!!!!!

So this week’s stats are as follows:

Running: 13.2 miles running, 6 miles walking; not the best total ever; but the end of the weeks triumph makes up for the lack of running early on in the week.
Alcohol: a sip! Whilst having dinner with my friend Caroline; she is pregnant and so thought it would be rude not to join her in a glass of watered down wine. Well it was practically grape squash! And I must pre-warn you I feel there are plans afoot with a certain group of friends to push me off the wagon so this statistic may be worse next week!!?
Weight: TBC - sorry haven't had time to check; so I predict lighter!! I will update when I have been near a set of scales later in the week.

So this week, instead of more running, more running like Sunday!!!!!!!!
Fingers crossed 'Paula' sticks around for a while.....

Oh and lastly; thank you to everyone who sent lovely messages of support and encouragement during the 'Jade' spell; your belief in me really did inspire me to carry on through the wall. If you'd all like to add to this support with a sponsorship that would be lovely too!!!! Links to just giving sites can be found at the top of this page. If you already have donated then thank you - that’s what all this turmoil is in aid of!

Facing the Wall...

.. And yes it is rather like being 4 again and sent to face the wall in the corner of the class! Debilitating and embarrassing. As prior to the last two weeks of appalling training I had every confidence I could run the marathon and everyone would be proud of me etc etc.

Sadly it’s not like the hit Saturday night show 'The Wall'! 1. I'm not dressed in silver Lycra facing a polystyrene wall with a funny hole coming towards me; and 2. The embarrassment is not the silly costume and the threat of falling into a swimming pool. But much worse; in failing to do the marathon I will have let all my lovely friends and family down whom so staunchly believed in me and secondly I will let the charities down who need my fundraising efforts to come good as they do such fantastic work with the money donated to them.

This week i have managed to run 21.66 miles - but I use the term run very very loosely! As most if not all of this was walking! This sounds good when said aloud especially as the plan I’m following only required 17 miles from me this week. It did however require a 7 mile run that I didn't even get close to this week!! The furthest I went in one outing was 4.06 miles and although most of this was running it was this only due to Leah and Sue yelling at me the whole way round! Bless and love them for their patience - especially as Leah normally does the circuit alone, in peace and runs the whole thing with no issues! My legs are in agony the whole time - calf muscles are the issue for those of you who are in the know! - and i just have no will to go running at the moment - Darren has to practically throw me out of the door each evening for me to manage a 4 mile walk!

So here I am facing the wall and currently have no idea how I'm going to overcome it - answers on a postcard please!! - This week I’m two days late on the blog posting - and with no running as yet this week under my belt don't even have a good excuse for that!!

So the stats for this week are as follows:
Running: 21.66 miles + 7 miles dog walking - infact 21.66 miles walking without the dog, 7 miles walking with the dog!
Weight: 4lbs down woo wooo wooooooo hooooo - its true walking is better for weight loss than running is! bugger! can't get in to the walking must get back into the running!!!
alcohol: None! Nothing! not a drop! Dry as a bone!!!! Snaps for Emma!!

This week - as always more running.....

Back to School... 1st lesson Running for beginners

Following a week of positively 'Paula' esq training last week; this week was more on par with that of 'Jade Goody's marathon training'!! I am way short of the alloted 19 miles required by the program. All I managed was 9.7miles in two runs; 4.7miles inside and 5 miles outside.

However I did manage a feeble 2 miles tonight, so unlike normal weeks have actually kick started the training a day early. So this week more running will be done and a more positive blog will be logged on the running front next Monday.

So this weeks numbers are as follows:
Running: As I said a poor show on my part only 9.7miles completed this week. More effort required.
Weight: Stayed the same; a cause for applause at fat club!! When loosing weight not putting any on is applauded as much as loosing weight, at least I'm not getting any bigger! Although worryingly I am being informed by real runners I may not loose weight running just change shape and build muscle tone! Maybe I should stop tormenting myself on the scales and start using a tape measure to monitor the slim down during training!?!
Alcohol: Woooo, Hoooo, Hoooo, still dry 18 days into the big drought and not a drop of alcohol has passed my lips!! The only achievment of this weeks training is my ability to stay of the sauce; not a massive achievement when you consider I haven't yet crossed the path of a glass of wine. Still an achievement I'm going to be proud of; its been a hard week!!

My official invite to 'The gold ticket members running conference' came through this week. Initially when this invitation was sent through to me with the confirmation of my place, I was on the understanding this would be an expedition where I could buy the latest fashions for runners and pretty trainers with free goody bags to those that made the effort to go to a talk here and there. Like you get when you go to fashion week, its in the same building!!!
But NO! Along with confirmation of my place at the expo came the days schedule; lecture after lecture on running, from 9am - 5pm how much can there possibly be to say about running!!!??? and they don't even schedule in refreshment breaks with food!!! All that will be available to me is Lucozade Sport and Water - no food - attendees are invited to bring a packed lunch if they think they will need it!!! Do I think I'll need it!! 8 hours of lectures on running I'm going to need four bags of percy pigs and a bottle of vodka to get through that unscathed!!!! I don't understand - I assumed there would at least be some carb filled refreshments as that's what runners eat!! What have I signed up for; no food and more worrying the shopping sounds very limited. No big exhibition is being mentioned and the opportunity to buy some Adidas new season running wear is only for 25 minutes before the thing closes; it literally says on the adgenda - opportunity to purchase adidas clothes 16.35, Exhibition closes 17.00!!! Are they being serious, how is that going to work? 200 running types all trying to purchase a t-shirt in 25 minutes; now I'm a speedy shopper and can spend £££'s in a matter of minutes but even I can't see how that's going to go down well!! it takes 2 minutes to carry out a credit card transaction, they obviously haven't done the maths for this bit of the agenda!! Oh there is an opportunity to have your feet measured!! although I don't think I need another £90 trainer experience any time soon so goodness knows what benefit this event is going to be to me....

The only lecture I think may have some content I'll be interested in is the one where we find out which celebrities will be running the race this year!! how exciting it'll be, like reading O.K magazine before anyone else! I hope there is a good caliber of celebrity this year not just a load of ex big brother housemates and some breakfast TV presenters! George Clooney would be good; or Robert Downey Jr??

So this week I will be mostly planning a packed lunch for the Expo in two weeks and running lots more running!!!

Teachers Pet...ish!!!!

Before the Christmas break my lovely friend Atlanta at work made me a running plan to follow - that all fingers and toes crossed will get me round the Marathon - and so far I hadn't really followed it; as you've read I have been doing some running and some walking so I wasn't being entirely bad by not following it completely. However this week I followed the plan exactly and added a bit on by accident!
I had a quick squidge of the plan at the beginning of the week and thought it said 4 runs 2 x 4 miles and 2 x 5 miles; it actually said 2 x 3 miles, 1 x 4 mile and 1 x 5 mile run. So me doing 2 x 4 mile and 2 x 5 mile runs + a 4.5 mile dog walk and a 2 mile dog walk gets me to 24.5 miles on the road/field/training when the plan only asked for 15!!! Woo hoo hoooo not only have I smashed last weeks record, I now have nearly 10 miles in hand on the training front!

Although the fact I'm a day late on the blog does maybe undo my teachers petness just a little bit!!!

My fall in the snow this week is something I can't miss off the blog - to other runners reading this according to some of my twitter friends some charities have warned runners against outside training in these conditions due to breakages! - I read this warning after falling whilst making my way home from the gym! Being new to this running lark a dusting of snow in Yorkshire was enough to make me head for cover and train inside. I had been inside running for a week or so when the snow hit Wiltshire. However youths playing in the snow startled me on my trip home and I gracefully fell to the pavement! NOT. Some boys ran past me, I squealed moved far too quickly out of the way and with all the grace of a buffalo on ice fell bottom over boob towards the glistening pavement; not forgetting to hit my face on the wall on the way down!!! Ending up legs splayed in a ladylike heap on the ground; I then sat on the floor hoping this incident hadn't been witnessed. Not so lucky, the whole event had taken place just outside a busy pub; so hurrah at least ten people had seen my decent to the pavement. One wet bottom; a lumpy face; and wounded ego later I slowly walked home. Penance for thinking I'd got the better of the snow perhaps?

But the stats for this week are amazing and I can't help but boast.
Running: well you know a super duper 24.5 miles
Weight: a loss of 2 lbs! whoop whoop - still not telling you what my actual weight is until its a more attractive number! but looks like I'm going in the right direction. I have a funny theory, if I forbid myself from buying any new clothes until I have lost 1/2 a stone! bank balance looks healthier as do I - everyones a winner!
Alcohol: Not a drop!!!! Although this weekend presents my first night out with the girls without alcohol involved and I have a horrid feeling I may fall off the waggon around 10.30!!!

This week I'll be aiming for the training program requirements again - although already Tuesday and no running yet! And trying not to fall in the snow and ice as I did this week!! And on the way back from the gym no less surely Karma got that wrong!

New Year, New You!...

A more promising week on the training front – but then in comparison to last week it wasn't really a tall ask! A week for resolutions my biggest resolution is to be thinner this year. Although stick with last weeks weight for the disclosure of weight as I think the week would be an unfair week to weigh in – far beyond the excuse of Christmas this week I ate and drank as much as I could before the dreaded January the 2nd was upon me!! So from now on out I am a dry person and not a drop of alcohol will touch my lips until after the 26.2 mile long London Marathon on April the 25th this year – all cheerleaders welcome on route if you're free that day! My mother did say if I was able to give up alcohol for that long why not give up all together; answer 'because I like getting drunk!' so watch out April the 25th or 26th depending on my run/walk/crawl time of finish!!
The scores on the board this week are:

Running: 8 miles inside 4 miles outside and 7 miles walking out side. I'm not sure the walking counts but it makes this week mileage look impressive – 19 miles in total using my legs
WOO HOO!!! it's a record for my training so far.
Weight: As mentioned above, this week this statistic will remain undisclosed; but needless to say if I don't concentrate and carry out my new years resolution at this rate I'll be running the marathon in a full body suit from Spanx! Lycra is not forgiving to fat girls. Even my Stella McCartney top that make by jubblies look amazing, the rest of my physique is not so hot at the moment! And anyway I think Spanx under Lycra could be a little unbearably hot for running in!
Alcohol: Again as you've probably gathered from the above this is also a large amount this week and probably best left undisclosed!

This week true to my word I went sale shopping for running kit & flat shoes– and it wasn't all together unsuccessful. I didn't manage to get another pair of trainers as the only colour options were Green & Burgundy with a horrid grey background. Now that I have been working outfits around the blue silver and white trainers I can't really add another colour. The palette remains highlights of Blues and Greys with a black and white background. Adding green at this point could take me right back to square one on the outfit front and I've come so far since the days of gold daps and a Wham T-Shirt for running in. I did however get some lovely black running trousers with a tummy flattening waist band – they might just be exercise trousers actually but they are warm when outside running and dog walking – yes I do dog walk although I don't enjoy it any more than running – and I managed to swap the lovely 'see you in the dark keep you warm' running top for a small at the same time! I think the sizing must come up big as at my weight I am not a small in anyone's mind! Must do it to make you feel better and as a reward for buying ugly exercise wear, its bad enough without taking XXL to the counter in the January sales! I looked at running hats; but I'm going to stick with the woolly number as the real running hats remind me of a certain birth control method after its been used, or burglars style stocking on ones head! Not a good look. And seeing as the fabulous George gave me some retro ear muffs for Christmas I have no need for this odd looking bit of kit.

Whilst on this mission for sports wear or flat shoes I did buy two dresses; a beautiful charcoal grey leather jacket with pewter fixings; two pairs of high heels – one Navy blue suede pair of court shoes with a double platform and bow detail on the toe, and a pair of lace up, peep toe heeled brogues – a Chanel style studded black leather handbag; long magenta fingerless gloves; two multi chain necklaces; a set of flower stacking rings; a black sequin waistcoat and a partridge in a pair tree!
One of the dresses and the waistcoat are going back; and the other dress probably should have gone back had I not worn it for my New Years Eve frolic's! as my 14 year old sister also has one! In half the size of mine! Yes literally half the size. Mutton dressed as lamb for my last alcoholic frolic! I would have fitted in with my sisters friends on the green more than at the grown up party, never mind a lesson learnt and it might look nice once the running has worked its magic on my lumps and bumps.

So this week as always running is the aim; and I might have a week off shopping, alcohol and cake just to kick start some of the New Years resolutions!!!!!!